On September 21, 1995 “the supernatural event of this century [was] experienced simultaneously worldwide.” [1] It was “the best documented paranormal phenomenon of modern times.” [2]
On that morning, an ordinary man in New Dehli, India had a dream that Ganesh, the much loved elephant-headed Hindu deity - the lord of the celestial hosts and the god of dharma (righteousness), wisdom, culture, and the arts – wanted milk. Before dawn, the man rushed to his local temple and convinced the priest to allow him to offer the small Ganesh statue a spoonful of milk. They watched in astonishment as the milk disappeared.
Word spread like wildfire throughout the devout country of India and then to Hindu temples around the world: Ganesh was accepting milk! The phenomenon was repeated in hundreds of temples from India to across Asia to Kenya, from London to New York to California to Canada, with literally tens of millions of people across the world participating. Not only were Ganesh statues “drinking” milk, but also statues of his Divine Parents, Shiva and Parvati, as well as Nandi and Naga, Shiva’s bull carrier and snake. Devotees everywhere witnessed in amazement as literally gallons of milk would simply disappear when offered to the Deities, particularly Ganesh. Milk was sold out in many places and the event was caught on film numerous times, with the worldwide press, including CNN, the BBC, the New York Times, and the Guardian UK offering reports. “The milk dematerialized in front of running TV cameras. A CNN reporter said, ‘Apparently no trickery here... a mass-delusion? Who knows!’ " 2 Those scientists and others who did try to “debunk” the event as “mass hysteria” eventually found themselves in the curious position of having practically no one with experience of the phenomenon believing them, as the evidence for an actual miracle was simply overwhelming. “This event was unprecedented in modern Hindu history.” 2
The event did however have an antecedent in ancient times. In the Bhagavata Purana, when Lord Krishna, considered to be the Supreme Godhead incarnate, was preparing to leave the planet, He warned that the “evil age of Kali would now set in.” This was the beginning of a new age, and it was marked by miracles among temple deities. “The statues in the temples were seen
“Hinduism has its own science to apply to this miracle, that of the interpretation of portents - unusual or supernatural events… The “milk miracle,” under this analysis, is not the end in itself, but rather signals a future event of great import. Shri K.N. Rao, one of India's most noted astrologers, explained that the involvement of Ganesha means that harm will come to the "commanders of armies.” The acceptance of milk, however, is an auspicious sign. Therefore the final result will be a greater good.” 2
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It was now September 1995, and my summer of fun was definitely over.
Something was happening to me…and I couldn’t tell what. I was getting sick. My skin was drying out badly. I had just lost my job. My short-term girlfriend was gone. My consciousness was getting fuzzier and fuzzier. I had enjoyed partying, going to raves, smoking weed, drinking, and taking ecstasy and acid. But I couldn’t do it anymore. Doing so threw me into violent illness, so I just gave up on all of it. My friends, however, were still able to go strong, and I envied them. I had just finished massage school at the Shiatsu Massage School of California, but I was getting too sick to try to put my new certification to work. What was happening to me?
One day, as I was looking at the bulletin board in the health food store from which I had recently been fired, I saw a sign that caught my eye. It was a flyer inviting people to come to a “Channeling.” I read the flyer, but nothing on it stood out to me. As I had just finished a course in Oriental massage, which included study of Traditional Chinese Medicine, I thought “channeling” had something to do with the energy meridians, or channels, on the body. I thought the flyer was an invitation to a night of learning more about these channels and how to move energy along them. Always an active learner, I wrote down the information with the intention to go, and then left the store without thinking anything more of it.
A few days later, my roommate Chris and I were to go visit some friends who lived about a mile or two away. Venice beach style, we planned to rollerblade. With whatever was happening in my body and consciousness, I was feeling increasingly distant from Chris and our other friends – like we actually didn’t have anything in common. Drugs and parties seemed to be their main focus in life. I didn’t have one, but nature had already decided that drugs and parties were no longer to be it. Also, Chris annoyed me more and more. I had been getting increasingly energetically sensitive and Chris seemed to be literally stealing my energy away. More and more, I felt like I needed distance from him.
Before leaving out, we decided to pop some tabs and to let them kick in before going. And kick in they did. After a while, I felt swirls of energy in body and then I felt highly charged. I hopped off the couch, “You ready?” I said to Chris. “Yeah,” he replied and we booted up in our rollerblades. As we left, I found myself tearing away from him. Then I had the most miraculous skating experience of my life. I raced out into the street, jumping on and off the sidewalk, hurdling things in my path, doing mid-air spins, and basically tearing up the runway. “Wait up!” Chris yelled in a blustery voice, as he fell further and further behind me. But I wasn’t going to. On and on I raced, faster and more daring than I had ever skated. I needed to get away. I needed freedom. I needed … something. I was driven by something. I seemed to reach our destination in a heartbeat and as I waited outside the apartment, my eyes were drawn to the sky. It was about 8 pm, dark, but not very much so, and no one else was on the street. Suddenly I felt something akin to a rumbling in my pelvic area. It felt good! Then a warm sensation, a slow rush of energy filled my entire body, from my legs up. As it moved up my torso, I actually heard rumbling, like a rush of water. I felt highly energized and I opened my eyes wide and held out my arms. Then with a climatic roar, the energy that was rising out of me literally spout out of the top of my head and right before my eyes formed into a massive bird of light. It seemed similar to an eagle, and yet distinct. It was bright yellow, with what looked like a halo of orange flames immediately surrounding it and red flames surrounding those. It rose into the sky and seemed to illuminate the section of sky that it was in. Then suddenly the body of the bird changed into that of a man – a strong, and powerful man – but the wings remained. An Angel! This being looked down on me with quite a firm, but neutral expression. He continued to rise slowly and seemed to be made entirely of Fire, Light, and Energy. I was awestruck. At about midpoint between the ground and the zenith of the horizon, he then began to pick up speed and suddenly seemed to turn into a streaking ball of light, like a comet racing away from the earth toward the zenith. At that exact moment Chris came racing up beside huffing and puffing, out of breath. He also was looking toward the sky. “Do you see that?!” I screamed at him as the light sped away higher and higher. He stared exactly in the same direction that I was staring and said, “Yeah. What is that?” At that moment, instead of fading out, the light seemed to explode, and then gently fade away. I rolled away from Chris to a distance of about twenty-five yards, still looking up at the now empty sky. “What was that?!” Chris anxiously called out. My head fell to my chest and, without having a thought, words appeared from my mouth that were low and inaudible to him, “That was my soul leaving…”
Immediately after this experience, my oncoming illness increased with a vengeance. I did not know it at the time, but that was the last time I would do acid with Chris. In fact, I finally stopped drinking, smoking, and going out as well. I simply couldn’t handle any of it anymore. I began feeling electric shocks throughout my body which would often jolt me. Sometimes they would come in waves, making me feel as if I was being electrocuted, leaving me exhausted, gasping for air. I also began experiencing intense heat within my body. My skin, already drying out, was now literally turning red, and appeared burnt, at times all over my body. I could barely sleep and began experiencing torrential nighttime sweats. My entire bed would literally be soaked with sweat. I was fatigued constantly, and my consciousness seemed to be getting cloudier and cloudier. What was happening to me? Something was happening not only in my body, but in my consciousness that I had no explanation for whatsoever. While my mind seemed to be getting fuzzier, somehow I seemed to be also becoming more aware of something in some way, but I couldn’t tell how or what. I developed rashes that looked like burns at this time on my hands. I would often feel dizzy and weak and have to sit down.
By the time it was for me to go to the “Channeling,” I was definitely in the throes of some mysterious and serious illness. I wanted to leave off it, but something inside told me I had to go. The gathering was to be held in Redondo Beach. I researched and found out it would take me two buses to get there. After the first bus ride, I was deposited at some type of transit station to await the next bus. Suddenly I felt violently ill and nearly keeled over. I held onto one of the bus signs, breathing in long and slow. It felt so hard just making it to the meeting, as if something, some force wanted to keep me away. I decided that I would give up and catch the next bus back home. As soon as I had that thought however, a super intense jolt of electricity rocked me from within, and it seemed as if some force that was superior to the first force was willing me to come to the channeling, actually insisting that I make the effort, despite my pain and how I felt. The electric shock was so intense that I actually yelled out loud, “Okay!!!” to whatever invisible force had sent it, demanding that I go. “Okay,” I then said softly, lowering my head.
Not long afterwards the bus came and I was soon deposited in a very nice neighborhood. Finding the proper house address, I walked up the pathway and as I neared the door I could hear gentle giggles and greetings going on inside. I entered through the kitchen door and was greeted by a short dark haired woman who looked to be about thirty or so. “Hello!” she said warmly. There were several men and women in the kitchen and in other rooms chatting amicably with one another and smiling. They were all white, seemed well-to-do, and the age range seemed to be about thirty to sixty, with most people looking at least middle-aged. And here I was, a twenty-two year old black kid from the ghetto. Great. The house was brightly lit, but the lights were soft. Candles were lit in various places and the smell of essential oils wafted in the air. It was a soft and pleasant environment. I had pulled myself together as best I could and returned her greeting. I wasn’t in the mood for small talk, so she just led me to the room where the “channeling” was to take place and I took a seat on the floor on a nice pillow.
The people in the house gradually all flowed into the room. Stacy, the dark-haired woman who had greeted me at the door seemed to be an organizer of the evening and herded those who were straying until we were all present. There were about fifteen total people, some sitting on pillows on the floor like me, some on couches at the back and on the side of the room. There was a large, empty chair that was decorated with flowers and colorful silk linens at the front of the room facing the rest of us were seated. I assumed that that was where the speaker, who had not entered the room yet, was to sit. I was seated near the front on the left side of the room, in front of, but not far from the right side of the speaker’s chair. Stacy introduced and thanked Amy, a red-head with long hair who looked to be in her forties and who was seated on a couch directly behind me, as the owner of the house and hostess of the evening. “And you all know Layla…” she said by way of introduction as a thin, younger, red-headed woman with short hair and sparkling pale blue eyes gracefully entered the room. The speaker had arrived. She walked in smiling, her palms pressed together and held at her throat level in what seemed to be something a sacred gesture of greeting. She looked each and everyone in the room in the eye, bowing her head slightly to some as she exchanged smiles with everyone and personal greetings with a few. I was still expecting that this was an evening dealing with Oriental massage, but in truth I was very fatigued and worn, with my mind somewhat numb, so I simply didn’t think much about what was going on. I was just open to whatever the evening held.
Layla took her seat at the front of the room and asked, “Who here has never been to a channeling before?” I was one of about five others who raised our hands. “Okay,” she said, and then launched into an explanation of what channeling was. I missed it however, as my mind just sort of cut off. I was tired and simply did not have the energy to pay attention. At the conclusion of here short talk she said, “Okay. I’m going! Au revoir!” and with that she crossed her legs in the chair, closed her eyes, and entered into what seemed like a state of meditation. We all waited in silence. After perhaps two minutes, I began to feel a soft, but radical shift in the energy in the room. This feeling grew and I looked around the room. Everyone in the room was either intently watching Layla or had their eyes closed in meditation or concentration. The raw energy in the room continued to increase dramatically. The vibration, however, though far more intense, seemed finer and as it increased it began to delight me. I began to drink it in and open myself more and more to it. After another two minutes or so of this, Layla began to roll her shoulders and to sort of purr out some “Hmmm”s, but her voice had changed. It was deeper. She turned her spine from side to side and it cracked loudly. Then she sat up bone straight and slowly opened her eyes. Her eyes literally sparkled brightly and for some reason I was not at all surprised – this was not Layla.
“Hmmm. Hmmm,” this new visitor said. She exhaled deeply and forcefully for a long time, while twisting Laylas’s body around and stretching it in various ways. By this time the vibration in the room was off the charts. It seemed as if we were all sitting within a ball of light and being fed by that light. It was amazing! My eyes were fully open now and fixed on this new person. For some reason that I did not even care to think about, it was absolutely obvious to me that though this was clearly Layla’s body, the person now in it and acting outwardly from within it was not Layla at all. I felt nothing but joy at seeing this new person, and at the same time relief, as if I were meeting an old friend again after a long and painful journey away from her. I was ecstatic, but I remained outwardly calm. I literally felt my heart burst open and the energy of it race to her. I felt like I was in the presence of Jesus Himself.
She looked around at everyone in the room slowly and gracefully, smiling with what I felt was deep love. “I am Sarasvati,” she finally said. Her voice was deep, melodious, and heavily accented. To my ears, the accent seemed to be similar to some sort of Eastern European one, but much more melodious, clear, and light. Her voice was absolutely distinct from Layla’s, and her bodily movements, even in the chair, were also. They were much more refined, fluid, and graceful. “How is everyone?” she said with a smile looking around. There were a few low murmurs of “Fine” and “Good,” but for the most part everyone seemed to be like me – in rapt silence. “Hmmm. Alright. I will first greet all of you and then we will get into our discussion for the night.” She rose from her chair and approached the first person on her right side sitting in front of her. At this point, I became aware that an opening had taken place in my consciousness. At least one part of my mind that had become so fuzzy was now crystal clear. I hungered for this person. Something drew me to her in such a way as I had never experienced or even imagined experiencing in my life. As she moved, impressions flooded my mind with lightning speed and left just as quickly. She moved with superhuman grace, power, and ease. Immediately to my mind, she was not human. She looked like a goddess. And the vibration that she brought to the room was so palpably powerful, and yet so beneficent, that all I could do watch her in awe. I wanted her to save me and sensed that she had the power to do so.
As she approached each person, she asked them “How are you?” while looking deeply into their eyes, and then “What can I do for you?” She was so fully present with each person individually in this state that it excited my desire for personal time with her. There were three people in front of me, and then she approached me. As she came up to me, she knelt down in front of me and stared into my eyes with the deepest compassion I had ever seen in my life. I immediately gave up all pretense of strength and simply looked back into her eyes. She then examined the top of my hands and the rashes on them. Somehow I could tell however that she was not just looking at the rashes, but at the energy of them. “Hmmm. Hmmm,” she said, as if her examination had revealed information to her. She closed her eyes, bowed her head, and held my hands for a moment. As she did this, I also closed my eyes and bowed my head. She was being very different with me than she was with the previous three. With them, she was compassionate, motherly, and fun. With me she was more serious and somber, seeming to go deeper. She looked up at me and I looked to meet her gaze. “How…are…you?” she said intently. I intuitively felt like she already knew the answer. I was terrible. “Okay,” I mumbled softly. “Hmmm. Hmmm,” was her reply. She kept holding my hands lovingly. Then she switched gears and in a bit more light-hearted fashion said, “What can I do for you?” I could think of a million things, but instead I simply again only mumbled softly, “I don’t know.” “Hmmmmmm,” she replied. “What do you want?” she asked, her voice getting more firm, encouraging me out of my downcast mode to be more engaging with her. “The same things that everyone else wants,” I answered, “love, peace, happiness.” “Which one?” she returned. I wasn’t expecting that. I had been hoping to get away with a generic answer, but to no avail. I paused, lowered my head, and then softly answered from within my Heart: “Love.” “Hmmmmmmmmm,” was her response, as she once again bowed her head. She seemed to be considering something as she squeezed my hands lovingly. After a moment of this, she opened her eyes. They sparkled as she looked me squarely in mine. “Alright. You will be my special friend.” She then released my hand, stood up forcefully, and declared in a very authoritative tone, “Stacy! I will see this young man in private session three times. This will cost him nothing.” Stacy, nearby, reverently bowed her head and responded, “Yes, Sarasvati.” I smiled widely, happy at this result.
“What do you do?” Sarasvati asked me.
“Well, I just finished massage school,” I answered.
“Hmmm. What do you love to do?”
“I like to rap.”
“This rap…it is like poetry, yes?”
“Yes.”
“You will recite some?”
I was taken off guard by the request and hesitant, “Uh, not now…”
“Hmmmm. Alright. Another time, yes?”
“Okay.”
“Good. I will hold you to it.” Her tone was authoritative, yet compassionate. She paused looking down on me. “Go up there,” she said, pointing to a pillow on the floor directly to the left of her decorated seat. “You will sit with me tonight. And we will meet three times privately, in addition to the times that you see me here.” Then her tone softened, her eyes sparkling bright as she looked at me. “Do not worry, beloved. I am here now…”
So that was “channeling”. For some reason, I was not surprised or taken back by the evening at all, but left feeling highly energized and, for the first time in weeks, highly optimistic. Whatever was happening in my body, she would fix it. She seemed to know me, know my soul. More…she seemed to Love me. And I needed someone to Love me. I needed Love badly. She seemed to be a mother to my soul. I could not pronounce her foreign sounding name, and thus couldn’t remember it, but that’s ok. The channelings were held once a week, and I would go.
When I returned the next week, Sarasvati (who was called “Sara” for short) did not spend any extra time with me, though she was still compassionate and motherly. It was still very nice to be in her energy. My health was rapidly deteriorating though and I needed special help. After Sara had left and Layla had returned to her body, I spoke with Stacy and Layla about a private session with Sara - one of the ones she promised - but Layla gave no definitive reply to my request. Stacy seemed more compassionate and reminded Layla of Sara’s promise, as well as the obvious urgency to fulfill it that my condition showed. But Stacy had to leave the matter up to Layla, who felt no urgency.
My condition continued to get worse very quickly. Now, my face was red, my skin flaky, the hair on my legs, arms, and face was mostly burnt off, and even the hair on my head at the hairline was getting thinner. Sleep at night was sporadic and uncomfortable. The night sweats continued coming in torrents and I now had to change my sheets literally three times in a single night. Just two hours of unconsciousness would see me awakened lying on soaked sheets. There was literally no part of the sheets that were not wet. In order to survive, I spent my days drinking lots of water and, as a result, washing bed sheets and clothes. It was difficult just to feed myself and take care of my life necessities when I was not forced to lie down due to exhaustion. I had stopped trying to resist the electric shocks that periodically coursed through my body, so when they came I just laid down in my room and let my body shake in jolts until it stopped. I felt as if I had lightning bolts streaking through my blood, muscles, and nerves. I also surrendered to the intense heat that seemed to have taken me over. At times, I would cool down and feel almost normal, but then the heat would return, always in force. When the heat was present and active in my body, my skin was not just warm, but literally hot to the touch, as if I had a super high fever at all times. However, strangely, even indoors there would be times when I would feel this amazing chill in my room, as if I was living fire burning in an icy whirlwind. But this chill would come and go. What the hell was going on?
By the third week of my attendance at the channelings, I was getting desperate. I was very somber, very quiet for my personality. I seemed to making internal calls for help and waiting. This week I sat on the couch at the back of the room. To my left was seated a regular attendee named Jonathan (whom I will also call John for short). After Layla came in and sat down, she announced that Sara would only be coming in to briefly greet everyone, but that Indra would be coming to lead the discussion that night and to spend time with the attendees. “What?!” I thought, “Who the hell is Indra?!! What about Sara?!!” Sara was the only bright spot in my life at the moment, and the only being who seemed to be able to offer me any comfort in the hell that I was in. I needed Sara.
Layla sat in her chair and disappeared and in her body appeared the radiant Sarasvati. My heart was calmed, but I could not understand why she wasn’t doing more to help me. She made her way around the room and when she finally got to me, she asked, “How are you?” “Terrible,” I uttered, as I looked up at her, imploring her with my eyes to intervene in my situation. “Hmmm,” she said. She looked at me compassionately and said, “Find out what is kundalini.” “Ku-what? Ku-who?” I replied irascibly.
“Kundalini,” she calmly and evenly repeated. “And I will see you next week, beloved,” she said with a smile and a twinkle in her eye, and then moved on to the next person.
That was it. I was dazed by what seemed to be her indifference to my suffering, while simultaneously seeming so genuinely compassionate and loving towards me. I was also sorely disappointed by the extreme brevity of out interaction. Why didn’t she just tell me what whatever she said was?!
As Sara moved on, I turned to John and asked “What did she say?” “Find out what kundalini is,” he replied. “What?!” was my response. I had no idea what he was talking about and couldn’t even pronounce the word even after my third time hearing it. “Kundalini,” he repeated. “You’re having a kundalini awakening. She wants you to find out what it is.” “A kun-li-a…awakening? What’s that?! Can you write it down for me?” Looking annoyed at my ignorance, John grabbed a pencil and small piece paper off of the
nearby table and scribbled the word down. He seemed to want to concentrate on the spiritual energy of the evening and so I took the note and did not speak to him again.
Sara indeed quickly finished her rounds of the room and sat in her chair. Waving her hand elegantly above her head she announced. “Alright. Layla will return. It is her job to bring Indra in. I am going. Indra will come.” She bowed and Layla’s body went slightly limp. Layla quickly returned to her body, twisting and turning it and yawning. She opened her eyes briefly and then closed them again. Most of the people in the room closed their eyes as she did. I briefly did also, and shortly afterwards the energy in the room began to skyrocket. But it was very different from Sara’s energy. Soon, Layla’s body began to move, and seemed to creak. Her neck moved from side to side and a deep voice resonated the sound, “Hmmm,” from behind her pursed lips. The energy began booming in the room. It was distinctly…masculine. “Hmmm,” was repeated in the same voice, as Layla’s body turned and her spine loudly cracked. Her neck and shoulders were rolled and then her eyes were opened. “Hello. I am Indra,” the new visitor said in a deep voice. The voice, at least, was deep in comparison to Layla’s and Sara’s, but still had a feminine inflection, literally like a strong male speaking through a female’s body. Indra, whoever he was, in addition to having strong male energy also had very strong warrior energy. He emanated power.
My immediate emotional reaction to Indra was to reject him in anger. He had supplanted Sara. I didn’t need male warrior energy! I had enough of it myself, and had grown up fighting. I needed comfort. I needed a Mother! I needed Sara! I did not want to control my rage.
However, as Indra passed around the room, greeting everyone in much the same way as Sara had, it was obvious that I was the only one who was disturbed by his presence. The women, especially, seemed to much appreciate it – not in a sexual way, but rather in an energetically balancing way, much as I appreciated Sara’s presence. Amy, our hostess in whose home we were, obviously already had an actual relationship with Indra. He spent extra time teaching and comforting her. I then realized that Layla channeled Indra regularly for the group and for others, not as much as she channeled Sara, but frequently enough for people to build relationships with him, as they had with Sara.
It was also interesting for me to note this distinctly very male presence in a female body. As I desired it to, my consciousness seemed to slip effortlessly from looking at the situation from a physical perspective and seeing it as a bit odd, to a spiritual one in which it seemed like nothing more than what it was – a vessel on loan to a high spirit being to facilitate his interaction with less evolved souls whose consciousness was limited by the physical bodies in which they dwelled and with which they identified.
As Indra arrived in front of me, I still had not given up my disdain for him. He was obviously fully aware of my feelings and I got the distinct impression that he, like Sara, had the ability to read my mind and to know me at levels that I did not know myself. As I sat on the couch, he stood over me, looking down at me through Layla’s eyes. After a short while, he said in a pleasant and even voice, “Hello. I am Indra.” “Hello,” I returned. I grudgingly looked up at him, and when I did I was embarrassed. Though his energy was so mighty and, it seemed to me, war-like, his face was placid and serene. His eyes were compassionate, and he had returned not a bit of the hostility that I had shamelessly hurled at him. I was embarrassed by my immaturity.
“You are Sara’s baby,” he said tenderly, “but that doesn’t mean that we can’t be friends.” He then smiled, nodded at me with a twinkle in his eye, and moved on to the next person. That was it. Still embarrassed, I resolved to give up my infantile animosity towards Indra, who was also obviously my benefactor, and to embrace him as such.
But I didn’t have long to think on things. Shortly after Indra moved on, I began to feel light-headed and broke out in a cold sweat. I knew things would get worse and I wanted to go home and lay down. I persevered until Indra had finished his teaching for the night and left.
The energy, that was already killing me, kept getting even stronger. As this occurred, I felt a very strong internal push to obey Sara’s instruction and to find out what kundalini was, so several days after the last channeling gathering, I headed down Santa Monica Boulevard to a bookstore that I knew specialized in spiritual and mystical topics. As I walked, I literally felt the heat rising in my body, as if my mission had somehow ignited the internal fire. The quick intensity of the rise frightened me. I knew that I had very little time before it overwhelmed me and I would have to lay down. My head began to spin, my heartbeat rose, and I began sweating. “What the hell?!” I thought to myself.
I entered the bookstore and the energy seemed to calm down. Somehow it seemed that when I was in the presence of other people, a part of me was able to bring it somewhat under control, so that I could function. I asked the cashier about books on kundalini and he pointed me in the right direction. At that moment, it seemed as if my vision spiritualized, or something akin to it, as I looked energetically at the books that had the word kundalini in the title. Finally one just seemed to fit into my hand and stay there and I said to myself: “This is the one.” The book was Living with Kundalini by Gopi Krishna. I opened the book, flipped through it, and came upon a description of kundalini and the powerful effects it can have on an individual. It was the very first time I had read in print anything that described my experience, though after I read the book, I realized that my personal experience was even more intense that what was shared in the book. I had time to read only a few pages in the store however, as a burst of energy shot up my spine so fiercely that I almost cried out loud. I felt like my insides were suddenly consumed in a heat that was not of the earth. I closed the book, rushed over to the counter to pay for it, and started running down the street as soon as I got out the door.
Then the electricity started. As thunderbolts coursed inside me, I could not prevent myself now from howling out loudly in pain. Luckily, it was a somewhat rainy, overcast, grey October day and there were very few people on the street. I ran for what felt like my life. The heat was hotter than it had ever been. It seemed that merely reading about kundalini and beginning to understand that this was it…this was it…had activated it and increased the power of its release in that very moment. I could feel myself burning, my skin burning. I raced. I raced for the water. I ran across the street towards the beach screaming like a madman. I didn’t care. As I reached the beach, I stripped off my clothes one layer at a time still running, and, naked, plunged into the Pacific Ocean. Shocking even to me, as soon as I hit the water and had covered myself up to my neck I heard a sizzle. The water around me was literally heated and steam – literal steam! – was rising up around my body out of the cold Pacific Ocean in southern California on a very cool day in the middle of October.
My mind slowly returned to me. I slowly calmed down. I was not only physically overwhelmed, but psychologically also. It’s not that I actually lost my mind or lost control of it. I simply felt that this was not the time for attempting to control myself so that others nearby would not ogle. I had to release what was in me. Luckily, probably because it was fairly cold, rainy, and overcast, there was only one other person on the beach at a distance. He stared at me with incredulity for some time and then wandered off.
I stayed submerged in the water for what seemed to be about two hours, until it started getting dark. I was afraid to leave the water because I didn’t want to face the heat and the water seemed to keep it at bay. I felt no cold at all. On the contrary, I was afraid of the fire. Finally I realized I had to go home. I left the water, gathered up my clothes, put them on, walked home, and collapsed on my bed crying myself to sleep.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * FAST FORWARD * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The day had arrived: Channel Day. As we gathered in Ray and Roxie’s apartment the energy was already becoming overwhelming to me. Still sick, my hands slightly swollen, I was lightly sweating already. I was also slightly shivering, feeling immensely cold, although to the touch my body was red hot. My skin was red and as usual, I was fatigued from the internal transformations that seemed to have no end. I was seated on the couch between other attendees directly in front of Layla to her right. We were starting. She stood up, “Sarasvati is going to lead the day, but Indra is going to guide some of you, and he’s going to come and say a few words first,” she said. She sat back down and went into trance. After a few minutes, we could all feel the energetic shift that accompanied Indras’s arrival. Indra’s energy had two distinct characteristics: firstly, it was strongly masculine, very different from Sarasvati’s and Laylas. Secondly, it was clearly the energy of a powerful warrior, completely no nonsense.
“Hmmm. Hmmm,” Indra grunted as he entered Layla’s body. Then came the customary twisting of the spine and stretching. Then he opened his eyes and began to walk about. He greeted everyone in the room and had short discussion with two others. Then he walked to the center of the room and turned his gaze directly on me. “Awww, no,” I thought. “Shit!”
He peered down on me. “You. Stand up.” He ordered. “Go to the center of the room.” I obeyed and walked to the center of the room. The couches and chairs were arranged in a circle and all twenty sets of eyes in the room were on me.
“Feel this!” Indra ordered me. He lifted his right hand to my chest and I immediately felt an intense energy spring out of my Heart. “Feel this!” he ordered again, pointing the palm of his right hand at my root chakra. I felt the chakra twirl in starts and stops. Then suddenly, I felt my kundalini explode and course throughout my body. I closed my eyes and forced my body not to shake so as not to startle everyone else present. I could feel Indra’s footsteps getting closer, so I opened my eyes to see him standing directly in front of me. “What do you feel?” he demanded to know. I felt light, heat, and energy coursing through my entire frame, but I remained silent. “What do you feel?” he asked again firmly. For some reason, I was afraid to say it because I didn’t fully believe it myself. But what I felt was undeniable. “Power,” I replied. “Power.”
“Bring this power out!” he cried. “Push it through your body! Push it out of your arms! Do not cringe back! Push your power through your body and out your hands!
Feel your power! Control it! Push it out!”
I tried to follow his instructions. I tried to control this energy which was swirling in such a convoluted and destructive in my body. I tried to direct it up my spine and out my hands. I managed it somewhat. “Yes! Yes!” Indra cried encouragingly. “Power is here! Power is now! It is not in your dreams! Your fantasies! If you are to unite with your power, you must be present with it. It is yours! Control it!”
I tried one last push. “Good,” Indra said, this time softly. “Very good, my son.”
I stopped the exercise and let my hands fall top the side. I looked Indra directly in the eyes and he looked back at me with deep compassion and spoke in a more soft tone. “Beloved. This is your power. You cannot escape it. You cannot run away from it. You cannot get rid of it. It is your power. And you must claim it in order to complete your mission here on earth.”
* * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * * * FAST FORWARD * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Alright, Kion. Your turn.” Layla was sympathetic with me. She seemed to finally surrender to the fact that Sarasvati had wanted me to attend “Channel Day.” “Come up here.” This surprised me, as with the other channels, she had brought Sarasvati in, and then the channels had taken her seat and Sarasvati stood as she guided them during their journey. I’m going to stay here it bring Sarasvati in and she’s going to stay with you to give you extra support. It was a large love seat, so she sat up on the brim and I sat in seat between her legs. I closed my eyes and waited. She brought Sarasvati in. I reveled in her energy as I always do and was ecstatic to be so close to her.
“Lean back and relax beloved.” She held her left hand over my Heart and covered me with her energy. I immediately entered a meditative state and in a few minutes seemed to be sitting in a world of hazy light. Sarasvati guided me in activating and energizing my chakras. My vibration rose.
“You and I are standing together now in this world of light,” she said to me. I went deeper into the trance and this reality came easily to me. “Absorb light and let your vibration rise. Walk with me.” I opened my chakras and absorbed as much light form the environment as I could. As we walked, my vibration rose and the light became clearer and more intense. Suddenly I could sense a source of bright and powerful light. I turned to Sarasvati. Without words, she urged me to go towards the light on my own. I did so and as I approached I began to see that the source of light was a being. It appeared to be a human-like form about ten feet tall radiating immense and powerful energy.
“What do you see?” Sarasavati asked.
“Angel! Big Angel!” I declared.
“What is his name?”
I knew instinctively to allow my mind to go dead silent and to just listen.
For the first time in my life I distinctly heard the voice a non-physical being speak to me in clear English:
“Michael,” he said.
“He has a message for you. What is it?” Sarasvati asked.
“Be Who You Are,” He said.
